Friday, October 31, 2008
God was really obvious when He spoke to both Gerry and I when we had our day retreat at Pasir Ris Park (first time there! super suku i know. lived in the west all my life) on monday.
He spoke to us about our attitudes and focus as missionaries. we were really shocked when we turned to the devotional topic for that day and the day before's. it was on missions! and both days' devotion spoke specifically to us and dealt us at the most pertinent areas!
i remembered both of us were just stunned andwe were looking up at God with the bewildered look on our faces. like wah.. okie, can't be more obvious than this la.
i'm extremely glad that this week's over; finished 2 papers and 2 presentations. more so cos there's progress for the publications project; I'm really very appreciate for peeps like Su-lin, Angeline, Angie, Wendy and Lucilla who all worked in tandem to get the things needed.
FE seminar II ended today; really enjoyed it cos learnt much from the discussions, responses and interactions from Dr Lim and my classmates. serving God in today's world is really very challenging but i must continue to be a RAG! to be real, authentic and genuine :) to build relationships where Christ can be shared and experienced. Lord please help - I am weak but Thou art strong.
ice blended session with maria rocks to the max! thanks again. looking forward to the next one.
{6:43 PM}
Friday, October 24, 2008
Soft heart, Hard Feet
i love my purple shooooeeessss!!!
it's been quite a tough walk this week but I know Father was and still is with me throughout; and also for love and care from TNH & all the really supportive and caring friends He has placed in my life.
finally removed the 2 wisdom teeth yesterday at Ascension Clinic (Jurong East St 11, Blk 235 - Dr Eugene's really good!) and he charged me only $100 :) praise GOD! I was a bit shocked and was really thankful at how God worked (cos the original quote from another dentist was $180 per tooth)
was given 2 days' MC :) yesterday and today.
thanksgiving: 2 persons blessed me with their love contributions for this wisdom tooth woes. and in the end, i even had extra to pay for my air ticket for year end mission trip to thailand :)
aiyaaaaii.. i'm just so awed by God and how He works.
and just when i'm still nursing from my pain in my gums, i remembered late last night that i've a 9am follow-up at TTSH to check if I'm havg thyroid. and so i dragged myself there.
had a blood test and the nurse who on the average, draws blood from 8-10 patients daily for blood tests (she's very nice btw!), told me that i've got genetically fine and elastic veins and so it's only on her 3rd attempt that my blood was drawn. lol. she commented that i was brave and could endure pain.
i think people generally are quick to reach out for painkillers to eliminate pain.
Is pain good?
I hope I dun sound sadistic but I kinda think that pain is a terrific reminder to me for quite a few things: -
1) that my outward flesh is wasting away and that more importantly, it's where my soul is heading, that is essentially the most pertinent and urgent.
2) the fact that we are guardians and stewards of this body which the Lord has given us
3) the importance of slowing down; that this body has its limits and we need to understand its limits.
4) the opportunity to really emphathize with those in pain, especially those in chronic pain. Do I simply just whiz by without asking how I can help, blinded by my own myopic focus? or do I lower my pace and ask how I can help?
during this period of time, i was seriously irritated by someone who even though, i had told her that i was on MC for 2 days and had difficulty in talking, sms-ed me a string of stuff to chase me for something which was not really that urgent. moreover, she didn't give me the full picture of what's going on and that did add to the pain cos of the stress. throughout her sms-es, she didn't even ask me how i was.
this really taught me something - that we must not be crowded by our task-orientedness and so overlook the need for basic human care and concern.
it feels really sucky and I wun wanna do this to anyone else.
[something which I learnt from Rev Barry regarding negative experiences - don't do it to other! period]
at the end of the day, would people remember us for our accomplishments or would they remember us for the relationships we have built?
hmmm.. what kind of legacy do I want to leave behind? cold, heartless projects done well or warm, caring relationships built.
having said all that, i have not forgotten all the kind things which people around me have done! it's a long list of thanksgiving :)
1) EngPeng and Emily (in San Diego now) actually sms-ed and email-ed to ask me how I was doing; WEP even emailed me some advice on medisave etc
2) Maria helped me source a few dentist and even offered to help me cook porrige! *heartmelt*
3) all the emails, msn, fb and sms-es of prayers/concern from various people (Ching, Gladys, Sonia, Uncle Peter, Pee, TTC community)
4) Bert who bought porridge that day for me cos food at dining hall is really quite hard
5) Su-lin who really helped me with the publications stuff, so busy and still was very caring - kept asking me how I'm doing...
6) mommy who called me a few times to ask me how I was :) *touched*
7) my brothers' sms-es - one laughed at me for hvg hamster's cheek, the other one, a senseless comment which I dun even wanna mention - but I do feel their love.
6) and of course, the TLC from TNH despite his busy schedule at work :) MMM
God's awesome :)
{2:33 PM}
Saturday, October 18, 2008
the view from my TTC hostel room - D5-2
TADAH!!!
check out the nice view from my humble abode - beautiful fluffy clouds & a relatively good view of TTC chapel.
I've always like looking at the skies, especially fluffy clouds, i know it's bad cos of the UV rays and overexposure causes cataracts..but ya, it's just so alluring.
whenever TNH rides me on his bike, I'm often drawn upwards, to view the skies and just busk in God's full glory of his creation. it's really a nice and soothing feeling :)
reminds me of the aeroplane story Bishop John Tan (retired) spoke of when he came to SJCp to share about 2-3 years ago.
shared it during chapel (smss) once and I'm thinking of sharing it for my homily (5 mins) this coming tuesday.
The story:
Many years ago, a British pilot by the name of Frederick Henry Paige was flying solo across Arabia. While flying, he heard a weird sound of something biting his cargo in his small plane. Unknown to him, a huge rat had been attracted by the smell of food in the cargo area of the plane and has found its way on board of his plane.
Paige immediately knew that the rat was a HUGE threat to him and his plane because if it bites certain critical wires, his plane will be damaged and his life will be in danger. In those days, there were no such things as auto pilot so he could not leave his pilot seat to remove the rat. However, Paige remembered something he learnt from school. Rats cannot survive at high altitudes. Rats cannot survive at high altitudes.
So Paige began to fly higher and higher into the skies, so high that it even became difficult for him to breathe. But he listened intently and after a while, the biting sounds stopped. When he landed at his destination, he found that the rat was dead behind the cockpit.
Dear friends, too many of us here allow the rat of sin, eg rat of anger, sexual impurity, malicious speech, pride, improper language and behaviour, rat of wrong love relationships, , rat of pre-marital sex, etc, to wound us.
Simple! Keep flying higher. Higher and higher with GOD
Yes, the breathing may not be pleasant up there because we are not used to fly that high above but keep flying! Don’t go down, the right way is up. God will keep us alert and awake; keep climbing until you don’t hear the rat biting anymore. God will give you victory, it is a guarantee, rats cannot survive at high altitudes. If you keep climbing, God will be there to help to get you out of the emotional struggles which you have.
Are there any “rats” in your life which you need to remove? Rely on God and Fly higher!
St. Peter's Hall - Stained glass
"Feed my sheep"
I'm really thankful to God for pulling me out of my pits! yesterday during FE seminar II, I just felt the Lord calling me to really draw nearer to Him. As we spoke about the various challenges which the church face today, He was just so real and clear in his prompting till I couldn't take it and just had to spend some time alone with Him at the back of the class. And I'm really glad that I did. God dealt with certain issues and really urged me to surrender totally to Him.
I'm really very thankful to God for Dr Lim; how he really urged us to think about our ministry; challenging us to be real and to engage with the world.
it's scary but THIS IS MY FATHER'S WORLD :)
I'm also really thankful for TNH; for his patience and whenever I share with him regarding my struggles faced in school. Praise God for him :) really enjoy the times whereby we pray for each other. Nothing beats spending time together with Father.
{8:55 AM}