Tuesday, April 28, 2009
a war of less than an hour
what is just?
what is right?
God sees it all
who gained more?
who gave more?
God sees it all
some reacted zealously
others looked on sympathetically
but God sees it all
it's never in my nature to want to engage in any
my call has always been: how can we win together? how can we strive on with a common goal? compromise to me does not mean weakness
call it peace-making, being harmonious or simply being nice - it's a way which I think that at the end of the day, i am able to face God and tell him that i've tried my best, that i've handled his creation (bearing his image) with care and love.
i dread pyrrhic victories
i dread casualities
it's hard on my heart
God sees if what i'm doing is pleasing to him and i need to be always aware that he is watching
he is watching if i would pick up the spear which was thrown at me
to pick it up and throw it back
or to pick it up and surrender it to him
it's hard to walk on
but i know i'll need to do so
to walk on knowing that God is watching
watching, not so to catch me when i'm wrong
but to watch on as how a Father would look
one whose watching over gives me the security, the assurance and the support which will enable each step
{10:37 AM}
Thursday, April 23, 2009
woke up on the wrong side of the bed cos i was having some really weird sad dreams which left me crying big time (in the dream) - think too much brain activity despite the physical fatigue; eyes were really blurry the whole of yesterday.
and someone send me this picture (above) and it immediately cheered me up!
pretty short-fused today and I'm thankful that God has been helping me to keep in check, to stay tactful and Christ-like.
it's hard but that is what God would want me to respond despite whatever that happens.
{10:21 AM}
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
*surprise!*
hi Mrs Hazra :) just for you.. i'm delighted that you do drop by my blog once in a while. heee
purple hair is actually quite nice you know.
you may be delighted to know that i'm planning to re-read Borsh's transforming missions after graduation. need to slowly chew on it. maybe will even email you when i've any questions.
once a lecturer, always a lecturer ma.
just finished my NT theology paper :) and i'm pretty satisfied with my arguments.
moving on to Christian education and Christian ethics soon after neatening up the footnotes, biblio etc.
very touched that TNH came with Earth yesterday to help me change the ink toner for my laser printer (which i didn't even know that it was laser printer cos it was a gift from BBright). TNH, mao mao for sponsoring it. the toner was cut-throat $93!
praise God for his blessings :) *smile*
analgesic plasters are my good friends for now. when i'm asleep, they work hard at soothing my shoulders.
{2:25 PM}
Thursday, April 16, 2009
this is one of those days whereby you know that you can't get through without God's grace, mercy and wisdom.
it's 11am and i've already seen how God worked TWICE in helping me through my many stuff to do for today
really thankful for TNH's support and love - really thankful to the Lord for you
going to have lunch at subway with BFF-cum-Sis later. this is a highlight for me :)
{11:21 AM}
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
was at the library yesterday when Zoe and Christi came by and said hello! :)
Mao Mao and Lovely were of course really exhilarated with the company!
shoulders are aching badly; esp my right.
last night, i got quite disheartened cos there's much to do and my shoulder aches aren't helping; think the pain really got to me.
thank you TNH for calling and for praying with me; really appreciate it loads!
yahui need NEW shoulders
{12:03 PM}
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
A flower of unique and incomparable sophistication, the striking Zantedeschia, also known as the Calla Lily, is prized for its simple beauty demure look and innate grace.
I <3 Calla Lillies!
Deadlines for the 3 term papers: -
NT Theology - 24 April
Christian Education - 27 April
Christian Ethics - 30 April
yahui breathe!
{10:05 AM}
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Bong totally surprised me last night when she knocked on my dorm door and gave me this lovely purple daisy!
"Nah, to encourage you!!!" - her words..
it was such really sooo sweet! hee... my eyes were getting so tired from reading all the articles on christological monotheism.. not that i'm complaining. they are REALLY good stuff. stuff which ties in with the passion week
and to receive such a nice sweet flower... hee.. heartmelt
BONG is SOMEONE whom I'll REALLY miss when I finish TTC
the meals together, the 230 stuff together
the crapping together, the laughing together
the praying together and also the crying together
BONG, I thank God for YOU!!!
don't ever lose your focus and your passion
i'm praying with and for you
{9:32 PM}
Trinity Theological College
Day of Prayer
Loved to Love
The Garden of Gethsamane - Jesus said: Not what I wish but what You will ["allou ti ego thelo alla ti su"]
Dying of our rights, dying to ourselves.
The Garden was a lonely place
as Jesus knelt in search of grace
he was battling within himself as to whether he would let the bitter cup pass.
But what made the bitter sweet, was knowing death was not defeat
He pressed on in prayer with Father and it is when he found the strength and power to proceed on to fulfil the climate of the Covenant and assumed his humble position as the Lamb that was slained.
The power of prayer is not the power to make God grant us our wishes; it is the power that enables us to do what God wishes.that was how Jesus found the strength to take on the bitter cup; to take on the Cross; to die for you and me
Contemplating the last few moments in Jesus' life on earth as a human being - His Journey to Calvary
the gloats and stares
the whip and tears
Simon of Cyrene
the women who wept
3 cold nails
gall and vinegar
the Lamb forsaken
the Face looked away
his last breath drawn
the Saviour's love
God did not spare his own son but delivered him up for us all
the transgression of this world upon his shoulders heavily fall
on the cursed tree Jesus hung
So that we may be free and never by death be stung
he bades me to come and die with him
so that in Him I may truly live
The Telling of the Passover - my Family Group's Sedar Meal
and being the youngest, i had the privilege to ask the questions...
it was a VERY good experience
imagine learning about what God has done through the olfactory, kinesthetic, oral, interaction .. wow!
and the lamb was good!
The greatest love that anyone could ever know
That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You
{9:02 PM}
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
it's interesting that Dr Tan KH and Dr Gordon Wong spoke on the same message today. it felt almost as if it was just in case we didn't get it and so there were reinforcements. ha. but maybe it was so important that we had needed to hear it twice.
both shared about the Lion of Judah in the form of the slained Lamb in Revelations 5.
what a stark contrast of real power!
- the Lion and the Lamb -
when John was transported to heaven and saw the throne of God, he wept cos there was no one worthy to untie the scroll. but lo and behold, the one who was WORTHY to do so was the Lion of Judah but he was in the form of a Lamb slained.
what gave the Lamb the power, authority and worthiness was the fact that he was the Crucified Christ, the Lamb who was slained for the sins of this world: -
the Lamb who was God made flesh (incarnate) in order to identify with us and to tread on this earth alongside the hurt, oppressed, marginalised and despised;
the Lamb who was meek, humble and gentle and chose to serve his disciples and the many around him and to love the unloved and unlovely;
the Lamb who was sacrificed and crucified so that the whole world (both Jews and Gentiles) can be reconciled with God; and this Christ (Messiah) has had to be crucified on the cross.
so what's the implications?
what's there for you and me as we live our lives on earth in light of the Lamb of God?
if our God has chosen to live such a lowly, meek, self-less and sacrificial life, and has chosen to bear the Cross and to die for us,
what are we, as his disciples to do?
am i identifying with others; walking with those who are lonely and in need of our Father's love? or am i comfortably tucked away in my safe little zone?
am i gentle in my ways with others so that others may enjoy God's fragrance? humble and meek so that people might see God and not me or am i sucked into the whole system of power struggle and ugly back-biting?
am i ready to sacrifice what the Lord has given me so that others may be blessed?
tough right?
that's why it's all about God's grace and mercy.
"Lord Jesus Christ, only Son of the Father
Lord God, Lamb of God
you take away the sin of the world
have mercy upon us
you are seated at the right hand of the Father
receive our prayer..."
{8:57 PM}
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
5 things which put a smile on my face
...
1) i'm done with my last homiletical sharing at TTC :) whheeeeee.. HAPPINESS!
I had some really good comments to help me improve; there were the encouragements and there were the critiques and i'm thankful for both
2) saw BFF Le En yesterday when I was walking past the lift and she was coming out and when she saw me, she called out loudly and excitedly "BFF!!!!" - wow.. that really perked me up - the energy, the genuity and the love. *heartmelt*
3) ran yesterday and today - really need to keep up with this regime. need to run so that i won't feel so lethargic
4) ate really good fish today! yumz and it was at a good price.
5) drum roll with a clash - this is the best :) made me really really SMILE. bumping into TNH at Bukit Timah market. what a surprise and we didn't even plan it. such serendipity!
thinking of whether I've put smiles on Father's face and on the faces of others.
i've been thinking about the issue of power & oppression. it really sucks BIG time when one has no autonomy, no space, no voice.
but i must choose to make a deliberate effort to remember this place not by all the power-play and insensitive decisions made.
i must choose to remember the good times, the joy and the fellowship.
i don't think this is denial but it's about saying that you have no power over me to the extent that i get bitter and angry. God is in control of how i feel and how i want to remember this place.
yahui needs to smile on with Jesus. someone came up to me and said that i seem to be coping well with stuff and taking time to enjoy myself. i think it's all God's grace.
someone actually told me today that i'm gentle, meek and temperate. wah. really?
gentle, meek and temperate doesn't mean i don't have a mind of my own or a voice of my own.
(not saying that the person was implying that)
smile on yahui :)
{11:52 PM}
Monday, April 06, 2009
dinner with Mommy, Eunice and Gerry at Lot 1, Sakae Sushi :)
really like the soba.
was obvious that mom was happily reminiscing about how the soba reminded her about the days whereby her sisters and her would buy and pan-fried theirs.
had slight food poisoning cos ate leftovers for breakfast and ended up puking thrice during service and i think i missed half of the sermon. arghhh.. but thank God felt much better by dinner. phew.
think Gerry did a good job for his first PA duty yesterday in church. i thought that it had a very full effect and that the band (other than bass) were well-balanced. great job there!
yesterday's message was the Call to Obedience and i was ministered by the parts which I didn't miss. Psalm 95.
obedience comes about through discipline which ties in with hard work.
was at Susan's table at about 745am printing my stuff and i saw a card on her noticeboard which reads something like "God's way is what's opposite of ours (innately)"
how true!
I don't think that humanly speaking, it would be innately in anyone's DNA to die on the Cross but Jesus, in full submission to God, did in accordance to the Father's will, that is death on the Cross.
been reading and thinking about Pauline theology on the Cross and Monotheism.
Why did Christ the Messiah need to die such a painful and gruesome death on the Cross?
How was the Monotheistic God represented in Christ, our Deliverer from this present evil age (NT Wright)?
and I strongly believe that this historically pivotal task (salvation of mankind) and the expression of the epitome of love (Jesus' love which held him on the Cross, not the nails) all came about just because of OBEDIENCE.
what a tough thing to do. i know that for myself, i have failed so many times. and i really ask the Lord to deliver me from such willful disobedience.
obedience is hard but the rewards are cool :)
as we start this passion week, let us be mindful that it was due to the obedience of one Man that we can have everlasting communion with God.
... so what is God calling us to do?
{10:54 AM}
Friday, April 03, 2009
to all my classmates at TTC. yup. we're graduating REAL soon.
Graduation is (for me) - 1 sermon, 3 term papers, 1 presentation and 1 book reading assignment, away.
it's the last lap.
some of us are tired. well, I am. but let's press on.
and yes, we'll LOVE to burn that particular book.
it's tough but meanwhile, let's know that GOD holds us.
and He takes us by hand
dedicating this song to all my classmates
Take My hand and Walk - by the Kry
I know there are times
your dreams turn to dust
you wonder as you cry
why it has to hurt so much
give Me all your sadness
someday you will know the reason wy
with a child-like heart
simply put your trust in Me
CHORUS:
Take My hand and walk where I lead
keep your eyes on Me alone
don't you say why were the old days better
just because you're scared of the unknown
take My hand and walk
Don't live in the past
cause yesterday's gone
wishing memories would last
you're afraid to carry on
you don't know what's comin'
but you know the one who holds tomorrow
I will be your guide
take you through the night
if you keep your eyes on Me
Take my hand and walk where I lead
Keep your eyes on me alone
don't you say why were the old days better
just because you're afraid of the unknown
take my hand and walk where I lead
you will never be alone
faith is to be sure of what you hope for
and the evidence of things unseen
so take my hand and walk
Just like a child
holdings Daddy's hand
don't let go of mine
you know you can't stand
on your own
(repeat chorus)
{11:12 PM}
tried pedicure for the very first time today *grin* chose to do french pedicure; kinda like it. but i wonder how long it'll last.i've never seriously taken care of my feet; thank you Maria for the treat :) i feel really blessed!
i've never really into polishing my fingernails because there's always the guitar or piano to play.. the mess to clear up and then my nails will chip and all. so i kinda gave up unless it's for important occasions or celebrations. think i'm too active to enjoy this tai tai privilegde.
had salad and scones at coffee bean yesterday; didn't really think the food there is fantastic in any ways; scones at cedele, foster's and the wine company are much nicer :) hope to learn how to make scones one day.
almost finished my sermon for homiletics class. think can finish by tonight. will start on ethics outline next!
{12:05 AM}